porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
