That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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