I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
pray to the hookup gods
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
