You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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