Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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