Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
