similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
