Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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