I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
