Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
