Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it's great music for shaving your balls
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
