What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize