Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
