dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
