I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
