I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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