i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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