peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize