I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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