I heard we made out
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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