Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize