Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
