Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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