so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
