My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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