Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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