can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
