absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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