I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize