So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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