At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize