What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize