Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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