Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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