I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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