your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
