Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I want to be your penis for a week.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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