there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
