to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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