I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
