So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
