Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
