That's when you crack a 10am beer
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize