His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
