I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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