I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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