she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
