I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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