i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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