I want to walk on stilts...naked
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
