Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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