Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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