Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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