Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
