we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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