You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
