I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
