Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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