I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I deserve this hangover.
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