I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
