Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
