Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
