He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
