dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
