well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
