I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
being pregnant is like rehab
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
