when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your cock deserves a montage
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
