There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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