Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
