FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize