Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
