Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
