Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
